Scientific Discovery of Bullshit Proportions

Sky News, who apparently have nothing better to do and obviously nothing better to report on has posted a ground breaking scientific discovery, (I know your all excited) because they have reported on that “Scientists have discovered what causes the ‘plink, plink, plink’ of a dripping tap”.

Well holy shit and stone the fucking crows, have they really? That is such a monumental discovery, I mean hell, such pain staking research must of gone into this, such convincing arguments to get the precious funds needed, millions of needed pounds and they spend it on a fucking tap.

That is mind blowing, the dedication, now I don’t know about the opinion of anyone else but I would say such research was a bit “safe”, I mean you could have pushed the boat out a little on this one, you could have gone for something like, oh I don’t know…a cure for cancer, something the world actually fucking needs, maybe…that’s just an idea, lord knows I’m no expert.

But I find it offensive that the following would be almost their opening sentence to their report – “It is a puzzle that has taken more than 100 years of research to solve and its source has kept thousands of people awake at night… what causes the “plink plink plink” noise of a dripping tap?”

Are you fucking kidding me? Do scientists have that much time on their hands, one hundred years of research, get the fuck out of here with that horse piss and who exactly is paying for this ground breaking, earth shattering discovery, better yet who the fucking hell approved it?

And where exactly would these scientists like us to rate this discovery of theirs, we’ve split the atom, we’ve walked on the moon, we’ve discovered new stars and planets and entire solar systems.

Hell, just last year, a Gravitational wave signal GW170817 was observed by the LIGO/Virgo collaboration. This was the first instance of a gravitational wave event that was observed to have a simultaneous electromagnetic signal when space telescopes like Hubble observed lights coming from the event, thereby marking a significant breakthrough for multi-messenger astronomy.

Exactly where would you like your “tap” to go, obviously you have something more to justify the discovery for the betterment of mankind because right now you making yourselves and all scientists into a bunch of fucking screwballs.

Lord give me patience and for anyone who wants a half hour nap the original report is below – I don’t expect many takers who want to read it but we’re being fair and at least give you the option…

Scientists discover what makes the noise when water drops – and how to stop it quickly using a household object.

It is a puzzle that has taken more than 100 years of research to solve and its source has kept thousands of people awake at night… what causes the “plink plink plink” noise of a dripping tap?

Now, curious scientists have identified what causes the noise and how to solve it.

Using cutting-edge video and audio recording technology, the noisy offender was discovered to be an air bubble that forms and vibrates when the droplet hits the water.

The latest hunt to find what was voted one of the twenty most annoying noises in Britain in 2016 began when Anurag Agarwal was being kept awake by the sound of a leak while staying at a friend’s house.

“I was being kept awake by the sound of water falling in a bucket,” the professor at the University of Cambridge recalled.

“The next day I discussed it with my friend and another visiting academic and we were all surprised that no one had actually answered the question of what causes the sound.”

Using ultra-slow-motion video, a microphone and a hydrophone, the researchers were able to perceive details that had previously gone unnoticed.

An image published in 1908 in Arthur Mason Worthington’s “A Study of Splashes” captured for the first time the moment a drop punctures a body of water’s surface.

The image shows the formation of a cavity – like a thimble turned upside down – on the surface upon impact, followed by a column of water rising as the cavity recoils.

Around 1920, a team of researchers in England decided that resonance inside this cavity was the cause of the sound.

In 1955, another breakthrough was made. Scientists noticed the formation of a tiny bubble of air briefly trapped beneath the cavity as it took shape.

They wondered if the sound was made when this bubble burst.

Since then, dozens of published experiments with increasingly precise instruments backed up this idea.

“Until now, everyone thought these sound waves just passed through the water surface and that’s how we heard the sound, much like if you hear someone speaking through a wall,” said Samuel Phillips, an undergraduate student at the University of Cambridge and lead author of a study in Scientific Reports.

What Mr Phillips and his team found, was that the trapped air bubble vibrates as the cavity deepens.

“Sound waves emitted by the vibrating air bubble don’t simply pass through the water surface into the air, as previously thought,” Mr Phillips explained.

“Rather, the oscillating bubble causes the water surface itself to vibrate at the bottom of the cavity, acting like a piston to drive sound waves into the air.”

And how to combat the noise until the leak can be fixed?

Add a little dish-soap, the scientist’s advice.

“It changes the surface tension of the water, and so prevents the bubble from being trapped under the water,” Mr Phillips said.

“No bubble means no sound, hence no ‘plink’!”

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